Forgiveness; a necessary process? (Part 1)

Let’s face it, we are born, we live our lives and we end our lives, each of us is here for a finite no of years. Our lives and experiences may differ but one thing is for certain; none of us can escape or deny having been hurt or slighted by another person or group of people.

Mostly we are able to forgive or at least partially forget smaller incidents but what about the bigger hurts in life. Betrayal by a life partner, our best friend cheating us in business, our parents using us as  throw cushions to deal with their own inability to handle difficult emotions and situations.

Forgiveness and its benefits have long been touted by the self-help gurus as a cure all for all sickness known to humankind. but what is forgiveness really.

Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. This doesn’t mean to forget though and nor does it mean reconciliation (although that can be a part of the process if you want) The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, more positive parts of your life.

But what about the situations we can’t easily forgive? Those that tend to stick around… The ones that leave a lasting and deep impression on our lives. The ones we call our “baggage”.

Why are these memories emotions and perceptions so difficult to let go off? and what happens when we keep holding on to them? It is inherently detrimental to our mental and physical health or is it just a slight burden?

One way to explain the effect of holding on to events and personal slightings is imagining yourself walking around with a heavy sack on the head. Since all of us start out with a limited amount of energy for the day, imagine how this sack would slow us,hinder us down literally causing us to use a lot of our precious energy just to manage this “baggage”.

the decision and the process or journey to forgive will always have to be a personal one. Noone can make this decision for us.

In the next part of the article we will know about the health benefits of forgiveness as well as the losses one can endure should they tend to hold onto a slight.

 

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